I Swore I’d Never Do This (Then I Aged)

We are back from our hiatus on The Well to tackle an inevitable, terrifying, and surprisingly comforting milestone: the exact moment you realize you have officially turned into your parents. From the irrational urge to hoard plastic bags in the pantry and hyper-focusing on the Texas thermostat, to landing an argument three separate times in the exact same format, we explore the behavioral psychology of aging. Drew and Kat unpack the generational shift from Gen X teenage rebellion to mid-life clarity. Why do we dismiss authority figures in our youth, only to find profound structural comfort in their wisdom later on? We dive into family dynamics, protective parenting styles, traumatic childhood break-ins, and the strange, calming relief of watching birds outside an office window. It turns out that walking a mile in their shoes isn't a defeat—it's full-circle emotional intelligence.Subscribe to The Well to master the art of navigating life's craziest generational shifts.

Interactive "Key Moments" (Chapters)

• 00:00 The "Radio Volume" Aging Test
• 01:30 Why is it Hard to Generate Podcast Topics?
• 02:40 The Exact Moment You Become Your Parents
• 04:10 Why Dr. Rick Progressive Commercials Hit Different
• 05:10 Welcoming Houses vs. Cold Dark Dungeons
• 06:20 The Strict Rule of the Texas Thermostat
• 08:00 The Hidden Danger of Hoarding Plastic Bags
• 09:20 Irrational Childhood Fears vs. True Realities
• 10:50 Life360 Tracker: Do Gen X Parents Worry Too Much?
• 12:40 The Toxic Habit of "Walking Out & Returning" to an Argument
• 16:20 Why Aging Gen Xers Buy Everything in Pairs
• 18:30 Reconsidering Your Parents' Advice on Sleep and Health
• 20:40 The Instinctual "Old Man Grunts" Explained
• 21:40 Midwestern Tornado Alerts vs. East Coast Basements
• 23:00 The Calming Tech Behind Bird Watching
• 27:10 Why Your Teenager is Programmed to Rebel
• 33:50 Biggest Dating and Academic Regrets Looking Back
• 36:40 What the Story of Moses Teaches Us About Ego
• 42:30 Checking the Coffee Pot: The Pre-Vacation Routine
• 46:00 What Would Horrify Your Younger Self?

Podcast, The Well, Gen X Nostalgia, Becoming your parents, Turning into my parents, Generational gap, Dr Rick progressive commercial, Aging gracefully, Texas electricity bills, Life360 tracking kids, Teenage rebellion behavior, Parental wisdom, Family dynamics psychology, Parenting advice tips, Bird feeder camera tech, Midlife realization, Why old people grunt, Child adult relationship, Growing older regrets, Turn down radio to see, GenX feral childhood

#TheWell #GrowingOlder #GenX #Parenting #DrRick

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome in to another episode of The Well. I'm Drew.

SPEAKER_02 0:03

And I'm Kat. Welcome back.

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Welcome back. Welcome back. I know it's been a minute. It's been a minute. It's been more than a minute. We've been on hiatus. I guess that's the the is that the correct way to say it? Hiatus. We took a little hiatus because you know we've been pumping out so much content. Which actually we have. So which got me thinking about today's topic. Got me thinking. So I caught I caught myself doing something the other day.

SPEAKER_02 0:29

What? Putting a handkerchief in your in your sleeve for when you need to blow your nose.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

No.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

Okay. Do tell.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

A handkerchief in my sleeve. No, it would be a tissue in my sleeve if I wanted to go full on, you know, elder moment. But no, I I turned down the radio so I could see better while driving.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

Gotcha. Well, I I've been known to do something like that.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

It's that's not the scary part. It worked.

SPEAKER_02 0:56

But I'm bum ching.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Yeah, right? Like so it kind of lends into so that leads us into our conversation today of you know, it it you you said it earlier when we were talking about kind of topics. And I have to say, it's not easy coming up. You would think it would be easier to come up with topics because off the rip, we come up with a ton of topics, and it's usually at night and usually at a point where we're like, we need to write this shit down, and we don't. So we need to be better at writing beep.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

Beep to you.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

I I'll bleep out the the expletives since Catherine does not like the potty talk. No potty talk when Catherine's in the house. But sorry, the East Coast is a lot of people.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Actually, not 100% true.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

Yeah, it just depends on your anger level. That's right. If you're angry, it's okay. That's right. I get it. I get it. It's all good. It's all good. It's all good. But that see, now you made me lose my train of thought. Oh, I found it. That was quick. It must be the morning. I'm a little quicker in the morning.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

And I lost it again. That's fact. We need to write these topics down. Yeah. We need to write them down. And we need to write them down. Yeah, but then we we never talk about them again. Then why is it so difficult to generate topics?

SPEAKER_02 2:08

What is our topic for today?

SPEAKER_00 2:10

Our topic today is when did we realize that we were gonna do the thing we said we were never gonna do? And the commercials say it, make fun of it, is become our parents. Like do the same shit stuff. See, I I I caught myself. Do the same stuff our parents do or did, or we used to make fun of our parents for doing.

SPEAKER_02 2:30

See, you know, one of my favorite ads, or our favorite ads, is do you remember what the insurance commercials is it Mr. Rick from Progressive?

SPEAKER_00 2:39

Maybe it is. I never knew his name.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

I think his name is either Mr. Rick or Dr. Rick. I gotta look it up. Dr. Rick from Progressive ad. It's like a whole campaign.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Well, I know the ad campaign, I just never paid attention to his name.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

Yeah, it is. I'll see. Dr. Rick, it's Dr. Rick on the Progressive Campaign. We're teaching. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:58

They are funny because they're relatable at a certain age, right?

SPEAKER_01 3:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

So what are some of the things that kind of tipped you off that made you realize literally you were you were turning older and I know exactly more.

SPEAKER_02 3:14

I know exactly what it was, actually. Which is rare that I can pinpoint a particular day, like date or time or moment where I was converted into whatever. But I remember when the kids were little, they would ask me to do something and I'd say maybe. And then I realized that my mom used to say that when I would and then it would disappear, like like I never even asked the question because she never wanted to say no. And so I said, I'm not gonna say maybe. I'm gonna say yes or no. And that was the first time that I was like, you know what? I just did the same thing that my parents did. And I was like, No, I can't do that. It's not right. I don't know if it's a it's a sign of aging. I think it's more of like, well, like you were saying, the topic is we be when did we become our parents?

SPEAKER_00 4:01

So that was But what makes it wrong? Like, why would it be bad to do the I I guess that's that's the juxtaposition of the discussion. Why is it bad?

SPEAKER_02 4:10

Why is it bad? When you brought this topic up, I was like, gosh, it seems like it's in a negative light, like it's a negative connotation, you know, when you become your parents. But sometimes it's a really good thing. Like I I have things that I do that are like my parents that I think are really great. Like I, my mom, when my dad would come home from a trip, or you know, we would come like my sister and I would come home to the house, she'd always have the lights on and the door unlocked and ready for us to enter the house. And it always felt very warm and welcoming. And so I've always wanted to carry that through. Even if like it's you know, the kids coming over or my parents. I don't like to be in a dark house. I like for it to look like there's some life in it.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

That's interesting because I've had the exact opposite experience where my house is always dark and cold, and we weren't it wasn't dank, it was just dark and cold because we weren't allowed to touch the thermostat. Literally, you would lose a limb if you if you really are you serious? Yeah, that sounds familiar. Yeah, I mean, listen, I learned that trait from somewhere.

SPEAKER_02 5:17

That's so funny. But yeah, we but for the audience, he Andrew does that today. He doesn't like for people to touch the thermostat.

SPEAKER_00 5:25

No, because I the cost it's more about the bill than anything. We we're in Texas, so we run the AC probably nine to ten months out of the year. And let me tell you something, when you're getting thousand dollar electric bills a month, you're you're paying attention to the to the trend of the thermostat. I don't care. Every anyone that's spending an exorbitant amount of money to to cool or heat their home, you're paying attention to the thermostat.

SPEAKER_02 5:52

So but yes, I I am so you had the opposite experience than me.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

I did. I did. I did. So I don't but I do appreciate now because you have car like changed my perspective on it. It is nicer coming home to a house that has light in it as opposed to this dark, cold entryway that has no life and just greets you with yeah, greet you with ominous loneliness and and lack of light. So yes, yeah, I I the thermostats uh yeah, it but it bugs me, especially here.

SPEAKER_02 6:27

So going back to the question you asked me, when when did you when was like the very first time you remember being like your parents? What was it for you?

SPEAKER_00 6:38

You know, it's hard. It's hard to pinpoint the moment, but thinking back, and you know, I'm looking through some of the notes. I I have this unhealthy obsession with saving plastic bags. Honestly, I yeah. Do you see all do you think you save all those plastic bags in the pantry?

SPEAKER_01 6:55

Yeah, I mean, I guess I never thought about it.

SPEAKER_00 6:58

No, I mean but I've been doing this for years, long time.

SPEAKER_01 7:02

Why?

SPEAKER_00 7:02

Well, I used because I used to save them for my so I used to save it for my like when I had dogs because I would use them to clean up after them. But then use. Yep. But then I learned the hard way, not really the hard way, but I I learned a valuable lesson that when you're just grabbing the bag to clean up after your pets, those bags aren't great because they have holes in them. And what's worse than grabbing the bag, putting your hand in it, and then picking up the poo, and it's not functioning as the barrier between the poo and your hand, right? You just get that hole in there.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

So thanks that's why uh letting letting us reboot that.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

I think everybody needed to understand kind of the not really moving on.

SPEAKER_02 7:45

What did your parents worry about that you now worry about too? I know what that is.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

Yeah, why don't you answer that? I gotta think on that one for a minute.

SPEAKER_02 7:53

No, I know what it is for you. By all means, breaking into the house and stealing all your stuff.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

I think I've always had that irrational fear because my house was broken into when I was younger and they did steal stuff. So I I do have that, and it was crazy because I I think I was like 12 or 13, and having the cops come out and dust for fingerprints and you know, having to invent that they never found the person. We had an idea of who it was, but we had no proof, they never found anything, and at least that's what my parent my mom told me. My parents were divorced at that point. That's what my mom told me. I don't know how true it was. I I do know someone broke in, but I don't know kind of what happened afterwards. It just it was kind of swept under the carpet because I think it was the person my mom was dating at the time, his ex-wife. I that that was the the story that that kind of manifested out of that. So yeah, well, we got exposed to a lot of drama at a young age. It should have been a reality TV show. Yeah, you still could.

SPEAKER_02 8:57

We're moving on up. Our next our next project will be reality TV.

SPEAKER_00 9:01

To a deluxe apartment in the sky?

SPEAKER_02 9:03

No, that's been done.

SPEAKER_00 9:04

Moving on up.

SPEAKER_02 9:05

Gotta find a new place. Moving on, okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

So the deluxe I was jamming, man.

SPEAKER_02 9:12

What so for me it's I'll tell you, when you have kids, it's I mean, your parents, how do I word those? The the the terrible things that you put your parents through, you then experience the same thing with your when you have kids. So when my when I was like younger, you know, I used to get really irritated when my parents would be all worried about me, you know. Oh, we were worried about you. You were out late, and I'd be like, I can I can take care of myself. I know what I'm doing, you know. And then I had, you know, you have kids, and then you're like, Are you okay? Did you get to your location properly? You know, are you okay? Let me check the live 360 a million times. Yeah, I do that. I I don't do it as much, but I still do worry. And you know what? It's a legitimate concern. So I'm so I'm sorry I gave my parents a hard time for worrying. I just try not to localize it to the kids.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

I don't know how my parents did it. Like they must have just at some point just stopped caring because I was never home. Ever.

SPEAKER_02 10:14

Well, you kind of started out your life early, so you were responsible for it.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

You couldn't keep me in that what do you mean held respondent? There was no you were you're I was responsible to myself.

SPEAKER_02 10:25

That's what I'm saying. You were responsible for yourself a lot earlier than most people.

SPEAKER_00 10:30

Yeah, I I just I f well the whole Gen X kind of generation and early millennials. I feel like we just and you know, we all make fun of it, but we were like feral animals. I mean, literally, we had to fend for ourselves, and there was no we were there, there was no rules. You you were bored because there wasn't a lot to do per se. So you had to make up your own entertainment, which usually involved self-harm or harm to others, and then you just kind of ran the streets. I mean, I was in the streets every day.

SPEAKER_02 11:04

Uh how does this relate to our topic?

SPEAKER_00 11:06

I guess it doesn't. Uh so bringing it back, baby. I I went out on a moment there. I thank you for for reeling me back in.

SPEAKER_02 11:16

I have another question for you. What habit did you inherit from your parents that makes you laugh? Like it's just so crazy that you've inherited this particular habit.

SPEAKER_00 11:26

My dad had a habit of when he used to get angry at us and he would yell at me, like walk in the room, start yelling, and then walk out of the room, and you're like, you could breathe, and then walk back in the room and have the same argument, but use slightly different words. Yes. And then walk out of the room. And this would go on for quite some time. Yeah. And I found myself very similar to just I have hit the I have landed the plane on the runway and then taken off and then landed and taken.

SPEAKER_01 11:58

Like literally just landed again.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

Yeah, this rinse and repeat. It's almost literally rubbing someone's face in it. And I don't know why. It's it's a weird characteristic.

SPEAKER_02 12:09

So we've we've talked about this before because when you told me that, I was like, that's so crazy. My dad used to do the same thing. I don't know if it's a male trait or if it's just people in general. I don't know. But my dad used to get it used to take a lot to get my dad mad, which actually I probably inherited that trait. But uh he when he gets mad, he blows his gasket, you know, and then and then he'll be done, and then he'll he'll leave and then he'll come back into the room. And by the way, blah blah blah, you know, and then he'll leave and then he knows this about himself, which is why we all laugh now. But it's so funny to me. And he still does it even when he's not mad, he'll like leave the house and then he'll he'll like come back because he needs to say something and he'll knock on the door. It's so it's so funny. Now that trait I did not inherit.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

No, but you you still have a your temper is interesting, but I don't I don't we don't we can save that for another day. How how adults should fight versus how they do fight.

SPEAKER_02 13:10

There, there I have inherited my mom's wild, wild temper. Like my mom is she doesn't get mad often. She is one of the most patient people ever. Like she doesn't like confrontation and she's super patient. She's but uh it's so funny because when she does get mad, ooh, you better watch out. Clear the room. Linda is about to like scorch the earth. And so I feel like when I hit my tipping point, I can be like that. But it's rare. I don't think you've seen it more than a handful of times for me.

SPEAKER_00 13:42

You know what else I inherited? What? The the irrational the irrational thinking of buying things in double. My dad always two because and I get that because they stop making things you like. So like wallets, for example. There's a very particular kind of wallet that I like, right? And it's very hard to find. And when I find one, I buy duplicate of it because I don't I don't want to, you know, not have it because I I get used to it. Or shoes that I really like, like sneakers. I might double up on a pair of sneakers because I'm gonna wear one and I know this sneaker will never go out of style for me. So that's or boxes and cords. I mean, you I know you'll get a chuckle out of that. I I save boxes of all the stuff I own and then cords that literally I have cords from computers that were like serial cables that literally not it's it doesn't exist anymore. But for whatever reason, I'm like, well, maybe I'll have like an old no, I'm never gonna use that freaking cord ever. A serial cord ain't ever coming back. So it's silly. Yeah, it's just silly. I probably shouldn't talk about that because I feel like it's gonna trigger you, and then we can go back to the angry conversation because then you're gonna walk in and out of the room a thousand times and be like, Can you just throw this crap away already? But probably will at some point, but but my dad wasn't a hoarder, I will say that.

SPEAKER_02 15:15

I don't think your mom really was, was she?

SPEAKER_00 15:17

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:17

Actually, I take that back, I do remember. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

Every with my mom, everything had meaning, and we both know it. Every, every a piece of paper.

SPEAKER_02 15:26

Well, she was very sentimental, like she's she had a lot of good memories of of objects that she kept.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

I guess.

SPEAKER_02 15:32

Okay, when did you realize your parents were actually right about certain things?

SPEAKER_00 15:38

You know, we we talk about this quite a bit. I feel I feel that a lot more around with the kids. The things that we think about now puts what my parents instilled in me or beat into my brain into perspective. So, you know, driving, you know, don't pay attention, don't don't be an idiot on the road. Um, don't don't drive like a crazy person, or just paying attention. Like you watch kids now, it's so hard. And I get it now, or getting a good night's sleep. Like I my parents used to say that because I never slept. I was always on the run. And even now, like, think about it. I I can't believe I'm gonna admit this out loud. I'm gonna say it out loud. How early I go to bed now. It's crazy to me. I mean, I would never go to bed before three in the morning until you and I, I was just like, wait, you want to get what time?

SPEAKER_02 16:34

Yeah. So that's I know your sleep habits have changed a lot. And it I think in a good way. But same. My parents were always like, or my dad, I remember him always saying, get your make sure to get your sleep. You know, it's really important to get your sleep. Eat he'd always say the same things like eat right, take care of your body, get your sleep. You know, I'd always be like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, but I mean, he's not wrong. He is right because as you get older, you know, it's harder to do those three things.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

I feel like we're willing to accept it more that our parents were right about a lot of things.

SPEAKER_02 17:08

Yeah, that's because the world's beaten us enough where we're like, you know what? Actually, I think my parents did know what they were talking about with certain things. You know, when you're a kid, you think your parents are dum-dums. Yeah, you don't know anything. I know everything. I'm I'm like invincible and young and amazing, and life is all new.

SPEAKER_00 17:27

And I will say this. One thing that's really become a lot more amplified for me.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

Now, my dad always did this, and I find myself doing it all the time now. Getting up and down making noises, like getting out of a chair or sitting down, like these weird random grunts. And I'm like, Uh-huh, why am I doing that? My dad always did that, always made a noise, sitting down or standing up, and I'm just like finding myself doing it all the time now. It is extremely bizarre, and I have no clue. It's it's in it, it's just it doesn't, I don't even think about it. It's just like instinctual now.

SPEAKER_02 18:03

Right.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

You don't do that, do you? Do you do that?

SPEAKER_02 18:05

Me?

SPEAKER_00 18:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:06

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00 18:07

You're not much of a grunter.

SPEAKER_02 18:09

No, no, but I mean, I do get stiffness in my let's talk about our ailments. No, I'm kidding. Let's not.

SPEAKER_00 18:15

No, let's not. So you make fun of me for this all the time. I'm obsessed with the weather.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

Oh, yes. Oh, yeah, that is really funny. I try to I don't give you a hard time about it, but it is funny.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

No, no, no. I don't you don't give me a hard time about much. I'm just saying you making fun of me in an affectionate way. You you think it's funny that I check the weather all the time, and I find myself not being able not to check the weather. And it's for for no reason. It's not like I know I snowboard a lot.

SPEAKER_02 18:43

I check the weather, but but you get the most upset when there's a threat of a tornado or a hurricane.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

All right. So, hurricane, not so much. Tornadoes scare the crap out of me. I'm from Philly. I we don't experience that kind of weather on the East Coast. We do in the what trips me out about the tornado stuff here is there's nowhere to hide, right? Like at least back back east, I had a basement.

SPEAKER_01 19:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:11

I don't have a basement here. Where where the heck am I gonna save myself from a tornado?

SPEAKER_01 19:16

Right.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

So it it scares me.

SPEAKER_01 19:18

I mean, it makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

And the sirens and all the alerts. I mean, it's it's I will never get used to it.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

I'm kind of numb to it now, but I will never get used to it. It does, it does make sense. Okay, so another do you consider this another way that you've become kind of an older person where like your parents where you get the bird feeder where you have the video camera where you're watching birds outside of your office window? But you know, I don't it's funny. We talk about we laugh about these things, but when you're experiencing it, there's a a calming quality to a lot of things that like our parents did, or that you know, the behaviors like watching birds is not a bad thing. It's like very nice and cool, you know. Tupperware is actually very helpful. You know, they used to have these like Tupperware parties a long time ago, you know, and they'd sell Tupperware. And I'm like, you know, I value good Tupperware, I bought cheap Tupperware, like plastic stuff that like cracks, you know, and you've got your food or your like sauce in it, you know. So I value Tupperware that's good quality. So, you know, all the parents out there that did the Tupperware parties, kudos.

SPEAKER_00 20:35

That was quite the pivot. Um I I can't really go. Yes, I I like Tupperware.

SPEAKER_02 20:40

And you like birds. So what made you get the bird feeder with the video camera? I'm curious.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

I'm just a nerd. I just like tech.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

But I also it wasn't about the birds, it was about the video game, right?

SPEAKER_00 20:52

It was. But put yes, it was about the birds, and yes, I thought I could make some cool content from it as well. But I do find myself now. My parents weren't like bird watchers or anything, so that that just gotcha, okay. That that was a thing that so the bird connection actually relates back to to my brother because I have this weird feeling that he was like reincarnated as a cardinal, and this big fat cardinal used to f like I moved a lot when I was back in Philly, and this cardinal would always present itself no matter where I was. This big fat cardinal. My brother was a large individual, so that kind of got me curious about birds, so I would always be looking, and that's that is part of the reason why I was kind of drawn to the but I find it incredibly relaxing for some odd reason because I feel like our life is so stressful that it's nice to do something that involves no stress, and watching birds doesn't involve any stress, except for when the squirrels eat all the bird feet food and we get there's no peace around here. Yeah, so but other than that, I mean, I I find you know, I'm a huge Huge animal advocate. So I I like all animals. So I definitely like them a lot better than people. So yeah, I I find it relaxing. And maybe as we age, right, we're we're inundated with so much stress, whether it's work-related, home related, politically related, whatever it might be, financially related, it's nice to not feel that for a few moments. Right. And if looking at a bird provides salvation, so be it.

SPEAKER_02 22:27

Yeah. I will say that I remember so becoming more like my mom in certain ways. Looking back over the years of like my middle school and high school years specifically, I remember over that span of time, my mom explored a lot of different things. Like she was always finding something new to try, whether it was a bread maker or, you know, a new way to make a recipe, or she was wearing something new, you know, some new fashion style. And I find it funny because I have done a lot of the same types of things that she did in terms of exploration. Like, oh, I think we should get an ice cream maker, we should get a bread maker, we should, you know, try new outfits or a new look or new tech or you know, whatever. So I find it funny that like we like to a certain degree we're all still we're people and we all experience a lot of the same things, whether they're our parents or not. So and it's just universal. You know, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there that have tried a bread maker or tried ice cream maker, you know, through your adult life. And it's like, oh, that's so funny. You know, I did the same thing my parents did, or watched the same kind of movies. Do you feel like you've differentiated yourself though, from which I know the answer is yes. Like there are certain things that you and we talked about this the other night. There's certain things that you take away from your parents, right? You've spent all this time with your parents and they've influenced you in a lot of ways. But do you also feel that you were also your own independent person with your own thoughts?

SPEAKER_00 24:07

Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 24:10

And there are a lot of things that you don't agree with or align with with your parents.

SPEAKER_00 24:16

I think foundationally they've provided kind of the the foundational knowledge to to kind of try and be a good person, but taking that in my own direction has proven whether they were right or wrong, in my opinion. So it's it's a weird experience. And I think as we've gone through this, it's it's just bizarre how things I I equate it to like an eye exam, you know, when they put the you know, and they start to dial in the focus. I feel like as we get older, that wisdom becomes more focused, and we hear the words differently that have been instilled in us from the influential people in our life. So where we were resistant as we were younger because we were rebellious, we now kind of shift to go back to there's some comfort in how our parents spoke to us, taught us, you know, reprimanded us. So kind of dipping your toe back in those waters, it's it's interesting because you said it earlier, you wouldn't necessarily raise your kids the same way as your parents raised you, right? But you still instilled, you instilled very similar, if not the same, values in your children as your parents put into you. Now, the way you delivered those might be different, but I feel like the value is the important part. So yes.

SPEAKER_02 25:40

And that that that's what I find so fascinating is that the it's it's a perfect, it's almost like this perfect full circle, you know. As a kid, your parents instill a certain belief system or unbelief system, certain values or non-values. You know, for years you are under the wing of parents or guardians or authority figures or whoever you might have had that influenced you in the foundational years. And then you start pulling away, right? As a as a teenager, this is what I've seen from my just my own personal life. You pull away, you want to be more independent, you don't want to be under the wing of an authority figure. Teens rebel, right? They want to they try new things, they want to, you know, pull away. And then it's a natural thing, right? They some people go to college, they start living their own life, they start figuring out like what was it that the parents instilled in them? And now what is it that that person, that individual, that teenager is starting to believe as a young adult? And they go out on their own, they start their own life, right? But then they come back later because once you've lived life, you're like, you know, like life is hard. You know, there are a lot of lessons to learn out there. And the things that your parents tried to teach you when you were younger that you didn't really want to listen to now resonate more than ever. At least for me, that's how it was. Because I got to the point when I was around 20, I get, I guess, like late 20s. I started thinking, I don't want to do the things that my parents are doing. I need to be my own person. I need to live in my own, like the house that I would pick, or I need I want the car that I would pick. I want to make decisions based on me, not what my parents think all the time. And that's hard.

SPEAKER_00 27:37

Yeah. And to your point, I think when we're young, we see them as rules, right?

SPEAKER_02 27:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 27:43

And we like to break those rules. And when we get older, we we feel the love from those rules.

SPEAKER_02 27:49

So and you kind of gravitate back towards those. It's like like you mentioned earlier, there's a comfort in structure. I'm not saying like, you know, hardcore rules. I'm just saying that it's important to have a structure in place. So I think I become more like my parents in that I realize the importance of these types of things. And you just these are this is knowledge that you can't acquire unless you've gone through this experience of life. You know, it's just that's why I think younger people are just we're so quick as teenagers or like young adults to dismiss what our parents have to say, you know, until we live enough of life. And then you're able to say, yeah, actually, now that I've lived it, I get where you're coming from. Walk a mile on my shoes.

SPEAKER_00 28:41

Yeah. Do you have any stories around kind of what you would have wished you would have listened to from your parents to make you do something different?

SPEAKER_02 28:49

I'm serious. I was so I was so stubborn. I wouldn't wanted to, I wanted to date whoever I wanted to date. You know, and my mom always had good advice. She she had good advice, but but they always wanted to dictate who I was going out with. And it used to frustrate me. And so they would give me advice on the type of guy that I should be dating, and I would go the opposite direction just because I wanted to, you know. So I really do wish that I had not been so stubborn and just hard-headed about certain things because I know that I was like that. I was do I had uh probably like a year or two of my teen years where I was a huffer.

SPEAKER_00 29:36

Like that that could be taken in a totally different and an eye roller.

SPEAKER_02 29:41

So I would huff and roll my eyes. Stop it, you know, and roll my. It became a thing, you know. And I actually I do regret being that way. You know, it was extremely immature of me. But you know, you're a teen teenager, you're kidding you don't, you know, you don't really think about everything's about you. So I I was incredibly selfish in in certain ways, you know. But as I got older and I dated not the right kind of guys, I had to learn the hard way, which was which is something my parents didn't want me to have to learn. But you know, you choose your own path in life. No one to blame but you.

SPEAKER_00 30:19

That is true, that is true. I wish I would have listened to my parents about school. I I really do. If I if I could go back in time, I would have absolutely been more studious, yes, and focused on academics.

SPEAKER_02 30:32

Yes, yeah, yeah, as opposed to running running them streets and being being a social person, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

I don't know what I was thinking, but I I have to say it has definitely pampered, isn't the right word, but has definitely challenged me in a way that makes life a little more difficult. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

So I'll bring this up since it's fresh and we just watched it. We watched this three-part series of Moses. And if you're familiar with the story, and well, if you're not familiar with the story, basically Moses goes to Egypt to try to get the Pharaoh to release his people that are in bondage and slavery there. And the reason I'm bringing this up is because the long the long story short is that the the people are constantly delivered by God, like in situations that they find themselves in, but yet they keep making bad decisions. And then God has to test them again, you know, and kind of refine their spirits so that they learn from their mistakes. And I feel like that's life in general. I mean, it really is kind of a life as a whole petri dish of I don't even know how to explain it, like constant experimentation and learning and life lessons. And it's like, would you go into it? I know I'm kind of being random, but would you go into a job, a new job, and you're being trained by someone who's done that job? Would you listen to that person and take the shortcuts and some of the advice that lessons learned? Or would you say, I don't, I don't need you to train me, I'll just figure it out. I'm just gonna wing it. And I'm not saying one way or the other is bad. I'm just saying that sometimes you end up having to take the longer path because you didn't listen to somebody, you know, and why is that? Because of ego, because you wanted to do what you wanted to do, you know. So I feel like life is about a lot of lessons that you have to learn. But sometimes your parents can provide the answers ahead of time, you know, for the test.

SPEAKER_00 32:45

But it's interesting your point, if you think about it, as we sit here and kind of retrospect on how we were raised and becoming our parents and the influence. Yet to your scenario, if we start a new job, how how much do we trust the person that's kind of helping us, teaching us, training us? Yeah, we still have the we still have the knee-jerk reaction. I'm gonna do it my way. Right. I've been doing this 20 years. I know you don't need to teach me, I I know how to do this, right? So I think it's an interesting kind of polar there's polarity in that is why why do we feel this connection with how we were raised later in life, yet still resist it later in life? Like the activity. So it's weird.

SPEAKER_02 33:32

So I've I also find the dynamic between parent or authority figure and child or ward, you know, interesting because you've got one side that's pushing to get more freedom and independence, you know, and then you've got the other side that's trying to tell you how to live your life, you know, it's it's almost two extremes. And I think the dynamic between, I'll just say parent and child, is that are you able to find a balance? Is the parent able to find a balance of not telling your kid how to live every single part of their life, right? So you're that you're this command and control tyrant, you know, and and as the kid, you know, can you is there a balance so that you're not going off the deep end all the time because you want to do everything your own way? You know, and I I would say like Travis is is our good experiment because we've really tried to kind of balance that with him, you know, and I feel like it's been successful in a lot of ways. Being able to allow him to to find himself, but also give him the like certain parameters, like, hey, don't kill someone, don't, you know, like make sure your grades are good, you know. There's just only a handful of rules. But other than that, you have the freedom to explore and and learn lessons on your own without us like being the hovercraft around you. And that's hard, you know, that's not an easy thing to do as a parent. And so I think that's how things often get so out of whack, you know, is for kids and parents, but it's hard. So becoming our parents isn't my point, I think, in saying all this is that becoming, even though the topic is becoming our parents, that does isn't necessarily a bad thing, you know. There it can have some good things and not so good things, lessons learned versus things that we carry forward. Sorry, I'm rambling.

SPEAKER_00 35:32

Yeah, you again another crazy pivot from Catherine the Great. I Catherine the Great. We have really, you know, kind of bounced around this topic. I I kind of wanted to make it no, and and I would love to to kind of bring it back to some light-hearted banter as far as just some fun.

SPEAKER_02 35:53

You saying I'm depressing.

SPEAKER_00 35:55

No, no, it's just yeah, the world is heavy. So sometimes heavy conversations just feel heavier.

SPEAKER_02 36:01

Okay, so I've got something for you. Speaking of pivoting, when you go on vacation, okay, do you do this? So as a kid, we used to drive everywhere, you know, like we go to the beach in Florida, we were in Tennessee. And I remember so clearly every single time we would get in the car. Come on, everybody, pack your stuff in the car, get in the car, we're ready to go. Are we ready to go? So my my parents would get in the front seat, we would be getting ready to go, and then my dad would say, Wait, wait, wait, I gotta go in, I gotta check the oven. And then he would come back out a few minutes later, and it's hot. I remember being it's been hot in the car, we're waiting, got the doors open. And then he gets in the car, he starts backing out. He's he asked my mom, wait, did I turn off the coffee pot? Did I unplug it? Go stuff, pulls back into the driveway, goes back into the house, checks the coffee pot. Okay, we drive, we finally get to a point where we drive down to the end of the street to the stop sign. Did I lock the door? I can't tell you how many times this happened. I mean, this was on repeat. You could literally bank on this. So, did you ever have things like that? Do you check the coffee pot when you leave the house?

SPEAKER_00 37:12

I do. I have things like that. Like, I have a checklist. I don't have a checklist. I'm just forget, like, did I put deodorant on? That's that's been the main one. Yeah, like or when I travel, did I pack deodorant? I think I forgot to. It's a weird thing. I have this weird kind of blocker with deodorant, but my parents weren't different time. I mean, literally, we we didn't lock the front door growing up. I mean, it was just I can't even imagine. So I mean, we had a milk box in our it was crazy. We had this milk box that didn't lock. It was a door on the outside and a door on the inside, and the milk guy would come and deliver milk, and you we used to when we forgot our keys, that's how we got in the house. We used to kind of squeeze through the milk box. So I didn't we didn't really have that fear or but now it's okay. If I'm ironing something before work, or if I'm in a hotel, did I forget to unplug the iron? Did I lock the door? Did I close the garage? So yes, uh every time I travel now or leave the not when I leave the house, more when I travel. It's that's definitely in my head. Yeah, that is definitely in my head. It's annoying. It is absolutely an annoying characteristic.

SPEAKER_02 38:25

A lot on your mind.

SPEAKER_00 38:26

Yeah, but those things, I feel like we I'm a creature of habit, so I put my wallet in the same place, my keys in the same place. I have a routine, so I try not to forget. But yeah, there's certain things, even though it's instinctual, it's it still just doesn't it just doesn't feel that way because you second guess yourself all the time.

SPEAKER_01 38:45

Right.

SPEAKER_00 38:46

So I have a question.

SPEAKER_01 38:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:50

What's like one thing you do now that would absolutely horrify your younger self or a few things?

SPEAKER_02 38:58

Good question. I actually don't have anything. I I would say that would horrify myself is I could take care of myself better. So you know, and I think I think sometimes we always think that we would we'll be in a different spot than we really are, you know. You as as a teenager, as a younger person, I think obviously you have dreams about where you're going to be, you know, in life in 10, 20 years. But I don't think it would horrify me. I think it'd just be like surprising in certain ways. Not not in bad ways, but but mostly like I think as the young my younger self would would probably say, Why aren't you taking better care of yourself physically? Physically. But other than that, what about you?

SPEAKER_00 39:43

Going to bed early. It's easy one.

SPEAKER_02 39:45

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 39:46

Honestly, that that's a that's that was a biggie for me. Going to bed early, really absolutely kind of I used to think of it as such a I had to stay up for whether it's FOMO or whatever, but I was never missing anything.

SPEAKER_02 40:00

Honestly, like of course not.

SPEAKER_00 40:01

But so it would really bother me. Yeah, it would really bother me. So I think for me that was that that was kind of I would definitely change that because I probably would have had more clarity in my brain if I actually got more than two hours of sleep a night.

SPEAKER_02 40:17

I think I would be more actually now that I'm thinking about it, I think I would be horrified at how tired I am all the time. That's that's probably the main thing because I used to not I used to I was tired, but I would go, go, go, and I still do. But anyway, good question.

SPEAKER_00 40:31

Yeah, so I I think that any other questions?

SPEAKER_01 40:35

No, I don't think we've I think we drained the swamp on this one.

SPEAKER_00 40:38

I did. I feel like we could have gone in a different direction, but we're here.

SPEAKER_01 40:42

That's life, babe.

SPEAKER_00 40:44

That is life, especially these days.

SPEAKER_02 40:46

You're going in one direction, all of a sudden you're somewhere else.

SPEAKER_00 40:49

Yeah, let us know in the comments what what was the pivotal moment that you realized you were becoming your parents or something that your parents did that you swore you would never do. I'd be I'd be curious, you know, how other people interpret this. So yeah, so I think I think that's gonna wrap this episode. And I'm excited that we're recording again. We're back from hiatus. Make sure you like, follow, subscribe on all the social channels. It really helps us stay in the algorithm, grow our following, and and uh we appreciate any and all feedback and engagement. So this is another episode of The Well, and I feel like I just became my parents even more right now for for kind of saying all that. I don't know. Just I feel more parental. But that wraps another episode of The Well. I'm Drew.

SPEAKER_02 41:36

And I'm Kat, and we'll see you next time.

SPEAKER_00 41:39

We will, we will. Bye.

SPEAKER_02 41:41

Bye.